Fun Fit 5K Plus

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Dear Childless Mother

on May 8, 2016


My friend,

I know Mothers Day can be hard.

I, myself, am not a “mother” in a biological sense.

I have had 3 miscarriages thanks to PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and a blood clotting disorder.

I am not angry about not having children.

I feel that having children does not make me more valuable or make my life more meaningful.

A lot of women can have children.

I take offense with the voice of some that feel my job as a married woman is to produce children or to adopt.

Today people, well meaning and loving, will tell me (and I am sure, you too) “Happy Mother’s Day.”

Some with pity and some with knowledge that I have been a mother to my students and nephews and nieces and others in my life.

And it’s fine if not accompanied by a look of sadness or an extra long hug.

I have a wonderful life.

I bet you do too.

Full of love and action and hope and joy and travel and family and friends.

I have not felt called to the beautiful gift of adoption.

But one day that still may happen.

Birth mom’s who sacrifice the greatest gift, their child, you are the most amazing gift of all.

I can’t imagine the hurt you must try to overcome.  Remember that you are still a mother.

Your love stretches for miles.

Adoptive parents, (Mel & Kev), you are blending families together.  You are awesome!

Genetics is not what makes up a parent.

Nurturing those children you feed through charity,

Teaching all those wondering minds,

Watching those games and plays of nephews and nieces,

Taking your friends children to school,

Consoling someone who is sad,

We are mothers in the best way.

Is there sometimes sadness while thinking about the fact that you(I) can’t give your (my)  husband something he wants?

Of course.

But I am not incomplete and neither are you.

I don’t need to be wished a “Happy Mothers Day.”

I am happy to feel accepted for who I am, regardless of if I have a child.

No pity or sadness.

Just love me for who I am.

Dear childless mother,

I love and accept you for who you are.

No pity – I join you in solidarity today as we negotiate around the words that are meant in love but sometimes devalue the very purpose in our lives.

Not being a mother may be the best gift I can give you, the children in my care, my friends and family and those a world away.

You are a worthwhile and amazing person, just the way you are.

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